I actually made two versions. The first one I found to be amazing in its
complexity and not so amazing in its delivery, so this was likely a one time
thing. You make these things by steaming
potatoes, carrots and beets and then chopping them fine in a food
processor. They end up looking like this:
If you happen to dislike any of those veggies, don’t worry, because the finished product didn’t resemble any of them and was way worse than any aversion you might feel to any of them individually. Although, for a substitute hot dog it really wasn’t too bad. But I’m getting ahead of myself. So you process those together, along with some onion and spices until the stuff has the consistency of a very liquid mud. I think the word “slurry” might fit that description. Then, you add enough flour to make it into a dough. Not a nice, workable dough like bread dough; no, this is very sticky, and you’re supposed to keep oil on your hands to keep it from sticking to them while you take hunks of it and roll them into hot dog shapes. The beets made this a dark pink color which actually somewhat resembled raw meat. That might be appealing to the hard core carnivores out there, but raw meat has never held any sort of appeal for me, even when I was eating a lot of meat (cooked), so that didn’t help this project at all. Anyway, I would roll one out, wash my hands, put some more oil on them, do another one, wash my hands, etc. Time consuming and tedious. And don’t even think that you’re going to be cooking these things in an easy way like just baking them in the oven. Not even. You have to steam them for, well, I can’t even remember, but it seems like it might have been around 45 – 60 minutes. Okay, then can we eat them? No again! Now we have to fry them or broil them or grill them to try to get brown lines on them so they look like hot dogs. I don’t have a grill (and I don’t want one, either, so don’t go sending my name in to the Ellen show or anything like that), so I just opted to fry them in a pan for a little bit.
If you happen to dislike any of those veggies, don’t worry, because the finished product didn’t resemble any of them and was way worse than any aversion you might feel to any of them individually. Although, for a substitute hot dog it really wasn’t too bad. But I’m getting ahead of myself. So you process those together, along with some onion and spices until the stuff has the consistency of a very liquid mud. I think the word “slurry” might fit that description. Then, you add enough flour to make it into a dough. Not a nice, workable dough like bread dough; no, this is very sticky, and you’re supposed to keep oil on your hands to keep it from sticking to them while you take hunks of it and roll them into hot dog shapes. The beets made this a dark pink color which actually somewhat resembled raw meat. That might be appealing to the hard core carnivores out there, but raw meat has never held any sort of appeal for me, even when I was eating a lot of meat (cooked), so that didn’t help this project at all. Anyway, I would roll one out, wash my hands, put some more oil on them, do another one, wash my hands, etc. Time consuming and tedious. And don’t even think that you’re going to be cooking these things in an easy way like just baking them in the oven. Not even. You have to steam them for, well, I can’t even remember, but it seems like it might have been around 45 – 60 minutes. Okay, then can we eat them? No again! Now we have to fry them or broil them or grill them to try to get brown lines on them so they look like hot dogs. I don’t have a grill (and I don’t want one, either, so don’t go sending my name in to the Ellen show or anything like that), so I just opted to fry them in a pan for a little bit.
I have to say that the finished product was not terribly
appealing. Thankfully, everyone at my
table knows better than to use crude terms to describe the food I have just
slaved away preparing for them, but in all honesty, it kind of looked like
grilled pooh logs. You know that I am a
very proper lady and all (not that the Queen has ever invited me to tea, or
anything), but I do try to keep my language out of the gutter, but that is as
delicate as I can be about this stuff.
It was not pretty. In all
fairness, the real ones have their own issues in the looks department, but I
doubt that I can describe those and continue to be a proper lady, so I’ll leave
it at that. Anyway, I put one on a bun
and slathered it in ketchup, mustard and mustard pickle relish, and you know
what? It tasted just like I remember hot
dogs tasting, which is like ketchup, mustard and pickle relish. By the time you put all of that on them, you
pretty much forget about the “meat,” so it really doesn’t matter that much. Amazingly enough, everyone ate them and there
weren’t any leftovers. Thank
goodness. The kids did tell me that they
really weren’t hot dogs, but I said that they had that spongy texture and they
said that it wasn’t the texture of hot dogs.
I’m probably going to have to just let them be right this time, since , like I said before, it's been a long time since I've eaten them, and it might be
that I have forgotten what they really are like. I could have shared more pictures here, but from the description above, you can probably figure out why I didn't.
Next attempt: Carrot dogs! Seriously, no one would even believe that you
could do a hot dog with a carrot, right?
Well, guess what? You sort of
can, though never again with the recipe I tried. The stuff had so much vinegar in it that when
I opened the bag to take them out of the marinade, people in the next county
complained. Or maybe it was just the
people in the next room. I forget, but
the smell was strong. So here’s how you
do it, not that anyone ever needs to know.
You take the carrots and peel them and then boil them until they are
just fork tender. You don’t want them to
be mushy. Then you put them in a zip
lock bag in this marinade that has lots of vinegar, along with some soy sauce,
liquid smoke, and some other spices, then zip up the bag and put it in the
fridge for anywhere from 4 to 48 hours, depending on which blog you find the
recipe on. When they’re ready (and it’s
really anyone’s guess what “ready” really means), you take them out and grill
or fry them, again to get brown grill lines on them and to get them hot, then
stick them in the bun. It was pretty
amazing, really. They look like this:
They tasted like ketchup, mustard, and pickle relish, just like the other one, with a different texture and much better appearance. I knew my family wasn’t going to be thrilled with the vinegar, and I was right. They all said they’d prefer to just eat the carrots the way you’re supposed to eat them. I guess I’ll have to agree with them, there, though I do wonder if I could just use a boiled carrot and forget the spicy marinade. I’ve about decided that really what we want is a just a way to eat ketchup, mustard and pickle relish. Don’t hold your breath on this one, but I may just try that sometime, boiling the carrot, just for fun, to use up the leftover hot dog buns. One thing I will say is that if you’re going to make your own hot dogs, you can plan it so they come out in eights instead of tens and have them match the number of buns in a package. Who was the marketing genius that came up with that idea, anyway? (Oh wait, come to think of it, maybe they were a marketing genius.) It makes me want to do things that proper ladies don’t do, which may have something to do with why I stopped eating hot dogs in the first place.
My conclusion, after all this work, is that version #1 is way too much work to bother with, even though it was the one that most of the family ate. Version #2 might have potential if I really decide that I need a carrier to help me get my condiments into me, but I'll have to find a recipe with a lot less vinegar. My recipe for sunburgers here: http://wowsecrets4health.blogspot.com/2012/06/sunburgers.html satisfies that need very nicely, though, so I probably won't mess with the hot dogs much.
Coming up in future posts I'll share some recipes for vegan pulled pork sandwich taste-a-likes and vegan bacon that are fabulous.
They tasted like ketchup, mustard, and pickle relish, just like the other one, with a different texture and much better appearance. I knew my family wasn’t going to be thrilled with the vinegar, and I was right. They all said they’d prefer to just eat the carrots the way you’re supposed to eat them. I guess I’ll have to agree with them, there, though I do wonder if I could just use a boiled carrot and forget the spicy marinade. I’ve about decided that really what we want is a just a way to eat ketchup, mustard and pickle relish. Don’t hold your breath on this one, but I may just try that sometime, boiling the carrot, just for fun, to use up the leftover hot dog buns. One thing I will say is that if you’re going to make your own hot dogs, you can plan it so they come out in eights instead of tens and have them match the number of buns in a package. Who was the marketing genius that came up with that idea, anyway? (Oh wait, come to think of it, maybe they were a marketing genius.) It makes me want to do things that proper ladies don’t do, which may have something to do with why I stopped eating hot dogs in the first place.
My conclusion, after all this work, is that version #1 is way too much work to bother with, even though it was the one that most of the family ate. Version #2 might have potential if I really decide that I need a carrier to help me get my condiments into me, but I'll have to find a recipe with a lot less vinegar. My recipe for sunburgers here: http://wowsecrets4health.blogspot.com/2012/06/sunburgers.html satisfies that need very nicely, though, so I probably won't mess with the hot dogs much.
Coming up in future posts I'll share some recipes for vegan pulled pork sandwich taste-a-likes and vegan bacon that are fabulous.
